The idea for this post was initiated by an article I read through Facebook. It was posted by a friend (Hello Diana, if you read this. Miss you much). Click here (Marianne Power) to check it out; it’s an interesting read (At less to me) and inspired me to start this series to explore my own experiences as a single girl.
Firstly, I am going to start by giving more insight to my chosen title. Even though I am not yet 30 (Sighs Heavily), I figured out, respecting the law of average (or is it approximation?), **30…ish** is closer to the truth than **20…ish** (though I most certainly would prefer the latter). Alright so I am almost 30 and single (Maybe I should say ‘still single’) as my society would most certainly regard it.
Over the last couple of years (say two to three years), the fact I am still single has become more and more of an issue, especially among my friends (I am sure they mean well). It has become increasingly a concern that I am close to the dreaded mark of 30 and still a single girl. I am not sure if it’s entirely a cultural thing, but I know for certain that being Nigerian, a deeply cultural environment, where girls my age should be married with at least a kid, doesn’t really help my ‘plight’. You get more ‘mothers’ (women of my mother’s generation) praying that ‘God sends you a husband soon’ (Again, with the best intention at heart). Your conversations with friends are centered on the presence or absence of a man in your life, with questions like, ‘So have you met someone?’ or ‘Is there anyone interesting in your life just now?’. Never mind that you just spoke to them last week and they asked exactly the same question. Even though it is not out-rightly said, without a doubt, everyone is concerned about you (Emphasis again, with the best intention at heart).
Nevertheless, you are constantly reminded of the state of your marital status (As if you need any reminder) and before you know it, you begin to dwell on it yourself, worrying that there is something wrong somewhere. ‘Are you doing enough?’, ‘Are you socializing enough?’ Maybe it would be easier if you could just carry a sign that says ‘Single and Searching’ or ‘Want a wife? Look there’. Unfortunately (or maybe I should say fortunately) that would just make you seem crazy.
So yes, like I said, I have decided to start this series titled ’30…ish and Single (Still)’. Its going to be about my own singlehood; my constantly changing attitude about it, my worries and, even humorous and not so humorous opinions and experiences in this regard. So please stay tuned…
- 10 Things Never To Say To A Single Girl (huffingtonpost.com)
- Guidance for Single Girls Over the Supposed Marriage Age (justsocooler.wordpress.com)
- Life is not meant to be lived alone (rightways.wordpress.com)