23 Apr


‘I need to know if you are here with someone because we don’t allow unattached single girls in on a Friday night’.  Said what!


It was supposed to be a fun time with the girls. Tania was in town and this provided the perfect excuse for Tami and Maya to do something fun on Friday night. Both girls, cousins and also flatmates (technically, Maya was squatting) managed to find themselves at home, in front of the television every Friday night (or any other night), never mind their elaborate plans in the morning. Tami had been working and living in Abuja for a long time and when Maya got a job that required her to move to Abuja, they were both excited, thinking they could motivate each other in going out more often, but that didn’t go exactly as planned.

Friday night outing hardly ever happened for them and it wasn’t because they didn’t want to, but by the time it was Friday evening, they were both too tired to indulge in the fanfare of sexy clothes, makeup, driving and hitting the bar (or wherever). A quiet night at home in front of the television always seemed too much like heaven in comparison. However, with Tami’s younger sister, Tania, in town for the night, their morale was duly boosted to take a night off their normal routine.

So amidst the tiredness, they decided to have a girl’s night out. They called up Elizabeth to make it a party of four (The more, the merrier they say) and pulled out all the works necessary for every girl going out on a Friday night ; Dress; check! Red lipstick; check! High-heeled shoe; check! Cash; check! (And yes, that is truly where the list ended so get your mind out of the gutters).

Tami and Maya were okay with just a regular bar where they could listen to good music, trade dirty stories and have a good bottle of wine (Okay! Maybe two or three), but Tania wanted to dance so Tami decided to take the girls to a perfect place where everyone could have what they wanted. ‘Drink tavern’ it was called; a mid-scale bar/club with good sitting area out in an open air bungalow; also, an indoor club for Tania and Elizabeth to dance and very important, affordable drinks and meals (it is Abuja after all).

They pulled up to Drink tavern and after a bit of difficulty getting a parking space within the premises, hooped out, all ready to have a good girls night out. With Tami, the designated driver taking the lead, they walked into the bar and boom! It got interesting (relatively).

‘Excuse me, are you here with someone?’ the big guy i.e the bouncer, at the entrance asked Tami. It seemed like a rather ridiculous question to ask someone all dressed up walking into a bar and as a result, Tami, taken aback, asked the big guy, ‘I don’t understand what you mean?’ The big guy still seated on his chair by the entrance said, ‘I need to know if you are here with someone because we don’t allow unattached single girls in on a Friday night’. Said what! Totally dazed and irritated by the statement, the argument between them went back and forth for about a minute and two but eventually the girls decided it wasn’t worth the hassle and were better off finding another place that was well, more receptive to unattached single girls just looking to hang out.

So, in a rather forced happy spirit, they made their way back to the car and just as they started pulling out, a second bouncer (much smaller in size than the first) came by the car to stop the ladies from leaving. ‘We are so sorry’, he went on, ‘we didn’t realise you were the ones with the car’. And again the drama continued. Apparently, since the ladies were there in a car, it was okay for them to go in. Of course, they refused (at less initially), but the  staff wouldn’t let them leave, the gate was closed, the apologising continued (even from the big guy himself) and in a true Naija fashion, a lot of what I do, who I am and who I know gets thrown around (Apparently, it is much needed to earn your respect). Eventually, the manager came around to apologise himself, the ladies protested some more but eventually accepted to go in.

They were given a good table for four, a bottle of wine on the house and in order not to hinder the party spirit, chose to see the episode as funny, so they laughed it off and toasted to their all-round first experience of being bounced at a bar (well, almost bounced). Maya asked the other girls, ‘Now! after that, isn’t it a wonder why people accuse girls of being desperate to get married or attached?’ In this mood, they reflected on the awkward position of the unattached single lady; because once more, it seemed that society had re-enforced the predicament of the woman and more precisely, the single woman.

Almost like the drama isn’t over, they went on with their night as planned. The drinks flowed, jokes exchanged and in a true Naija way, the conversation and laughs got louder. They (especially Elizabeth) received advances from a couple of guys who wanted to join the party. “It’s a girl’s night” they repeated over and over again with polite thanks, but no thanks. However, the guys maybe believing they were just playing coy (After all, isn’t that what women do, play coy?), got bolder and one of them actually invited himself to their table, pulled a seat and embarrassed himself. ‘I never get to see a situation like this’, he said. ‘You ladies should really join our party’. Apparently, it isn’t ‘the thing’ for four unattached ladies to want to party by themselves. Anyways, after another couple of minutes going on and on, he eventually excused himself and the ladies went on with their party just like they planned. But again, the conversation wasn’t void of the obviously ‘awkward’ position, the unattached single lady could find herself. On a lighter note, you will be surprised (well, maybe not) at the stories they had to share , especially after the first bottle of wine and honesty had become too easy.

So there are some tips for an unattached single lady on a night out (Especially in Abuja):

  • If you want to hang out on a Friday night, take a man along; you will need him to validate you.
  • Girls night on a Friday night is not the best idea
  • If you insist on one; make sure you are driving a good car and you park within the vicinity of the bar, where your car can be observed
  • Understand that guys generally would not get the idea of a girl’s night and would try their best to crash on your party, so don’t take it personal.
  • If you insist on going out by yourselves, wear your meanest hat on because you would need it to handle all the bullies and deal with all the stereotypical bull**** thrown at you.
  • Finally, when all is said and done, laugh it off and have fun. After all, having fun was your primary goal in the first place.  
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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Uncategorized


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