Monthly Archives: August 2015

Life is Messy…

‘Your standardised ideologies will not always fit your life; because life is messy’

–  Chimamanda Adichie

The above quote was cut from Wellesley Commencement Address given by my girl crush, Chimamanda Adichie. Immediately she said those words, it jumped at me because it felt like she had looked into my mind and taken a thought I had been trying to eloquently express for a while and there it was, perfectly phrased, finally! Not entirely sure if we meant it in the same context but the phrase fitted my thoughts perfectly.

Our stance, opinions, even our beliefs are constantly being challenged by the reality of life. Every now and then, even more often than we like to admit, we find ourselves taking actions that are contrary to our proclaimed ideologies. Sometimes, not even because we have stopped believing in what we believe but just because of a thousand different reasons and other times, because real experiences has shifted our stance until we have become ‘less sure’. It’s easy to say something should be this or that until you are stuck in that situation and you just may find yourself doing the exact opposite; the high road all of a sudden has become too high, the very action you criticized has become your choice, your firm proclaimed ideology no longer firm enough to dominate the situation, your feminist view is out the window and yes, you have compromised. It’s no longer black or white, it has become grey. Many would say that the term for this is hypocrisy, maybe it is or maybe it isn’t. But I think a fairer term is Life! Ideologically, life is straight-forward but realistically, it is messy and at the end of the day, the life we have now, is life, in its truest definition to us.

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Posted by on August 30, 2015 in Uncategorized


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‘It’s pretty simple, pretty obvious: that people’s first impressions of people are really a big mistake.’ – Vincent D’Onofrio

We can’t help but have impressions about people when we first meet them. Sometimes, these impressions are even formed before the person speaks. However, I think most first impressions are likely to be wrong, mainly because what it is really; is  trying to sum up a rather complex being in the first few minutes of meeting them. Never mind that our first impressions are really just our assumptions based on stereotypical views of some category we think they fall into.

Unfortunately, a lot of decisions, both formal and informal, are motivated by first impressions, hence, we are constantly being defined by characters we do not possess. I only wish that when forming impressions about people, we could all accept that we are likely wrong and give room to actually get to know people before declaring them one way or the other.

On a lighter note, here are some few first impressions people have had about me:

Some people hear the tone of my talking voice and assume I have a good singing voice; try again, my singing voice sounds like a frog croaking endlessly (Just joking, it isn’t that bad).

 Some people assume I am an enthusiastic TGIFier, I am; but only because I am a couch potato (More like a bed hugger) who ENJOYS sleeping through the weekend (Which isn’t what they think).

Some people see my hair and assume I am an artist of some sort. No, am not, I just love dreads and choose to wear my hair this way, never mind that it is easy to carry and no, I do not get tired of it.

Some people assume I am snob, I, most definitely, am not. I just take my time warming up to people and new places. Plus I am an observer.

Most people assume I can’t see the picture of a chubby and cute baby without AWWing, You are right, I most definitely cannot. **wink wink**

Have a great day y’all

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Posted by on August 27, 2015 in Uncategorized


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A couple of days ago, a dear friend and I were reminiscing about our childhood. Even though we didn’t know each other growing up or even grew up in the same city, we had similar stories to share; same games, similar home traditions (Mothers who would spank first and ask questions later) etc. The similarity of our stories was drawn from the fact that we grew up in same generation (well, with about four years apart). We ended our conversation with how our childhood was so different from children growing up in this generation. Out are all the games we played and enjoyed as kids; ‘Ten-ten’ ‘Siwe’, ‘koso’, games with imaginary people and cover of bottles. I remember lying down on blankets or mats in the evenings, sharing tales with my sisters. Those times created a bond and are a huge part of the memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world. These days, it all about video games and IPads (Not criticizing, I played some video games too). The point is that the western culture has not only injected itself but has taken over.

Without a doubt, there are great elements of the western culture. The obvious fact being that it has brought significant developments to the African society. It has opened us as a continent to a global world where we can experience and understand other cultures, develop and maximise our resources and industries etc. But I also believe that we (Africans) are too much in a hurry to swap our culture and traditions with the influx of the western lifestyle with little or no filtration. I believe that while there are elements of our culture that did and still do need changing such as unrealistic expectation and segregation of people because of their ‘identity’ e.g gender, tribe, beliefs etc (But on a second thought, this is a global issue). I also know that there are some of our traditions that make us beautiful. If only we could preserve the authenticity of this and pass it on to our children…

As much as we want to accept the western world, their lifestyle and culture, we should want to share ours with them as well; our games, music, beliefs (where they are non-discriminative), our family etiquettes, food and dance etc. Being global should be about giving as much as taking, but most importantly, it shouldn’t be about losing all of ourselves especially the beautiful parts, all in the name of being ‘civilized’.


Posted by on August 20, 2015 in Uncategorized


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