I read a story recently about a lady, who a man had ran into her car accidentally but instead of sorting out the repairs with her, had insisted on speaking to her husband. Reason for this; her husband would understand the situation better (or something along that line). Other passers-by (men as well), who had also stopped at the scene expressed the same opinion and insisted that the lady call her husband. But, this lady had no husband! She was single and according to her, felt so embarrassed by the way these men kept insisting on her calling her husband that she was moved to tears. In her words, ‘I have never been more embarrassed in my life’.
I am going to start by saying there are a lot of things wrong with this story; from the fact that these men believed that the lady was too much of a ‘girl’ to understand the details of how the car was going to get fixed, to the assumption that her fictional husband was so much of a ‘man’ that he would understand the details of fixing the car. Personally, I would have thought that they should have insisted she called a professional i.e. her mechanic, but apparently, I am girl, so what do I know.
Now on to the main reason for this post, a couple of weeks after this story was narrated on a very popular blog, I read again that some famous Nigerian ladies had taken to social media to demand equality for both sexes; to this I say, great. People shouldn’t be underrated or overrated because of their gender. Now, their reason for the sudden outburst was as a result of the above incident; then I got confused and this is why…
Personally, I thought that the problem in the story wasn’t the men (Well, not really), but the woman. Half the men out there presume that women know nothing about cars, sports, and every other SUPPOSED masculine activity. It is by all means a sexist view and I believe that if you are a woman who knows your piece about these things, you shouldn’t wait to be handed the mike to assert your knowledge, you should demand it and if need be, drag the d*** mike off the man’s hand. There is no sexist monopoly on knowledge but unfortunately, society often demands that you remind other folks of this fact. However, if you choose not to assert yourself, you really can’t blame the other person whether man or woman for not freely handing it to you.
Secondly, I have never understood why being single at any age is something anyone should be ashamed or embarrassed about. Even though marriage is blissful, being single isn’t a curse. Just in case there are people out there who don’t already know, marriage actually involves TWO individuals! So not having found the other part of the puzzle doesn’t make an individual less of an actual person or an adult. I am 30ish and single, and will never feel ashamed about it. Heaven knows it has some advantages. So instead of sobbing on the road like a ‘child’ and allowing yourself to be bullied by a group of men, I say, boldly and unashamedly declare that you are single, unattached or whatever and insist that the man who ran into your car sort it out with either you or your mechanic. After all, you bought your own d*** car or maybe not **hehehehe**. Bottom line, it is your car
Fact of life: People will bully you if you give them the chance. As a woman, most times, you need to fight twice as hard to be heard. So rise to the occasion and take your respect instead of going to social media and demanding equality of sexes because a woman was too much of a ‘girl’ to fight. In the words of Bailey (That’s a fictional character by the way), ‘I am woman, hear me roar!’