“There are memories that time does not erase… Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.”
You know how sometimes, you just have a crappy day with one annoying event happening after another, so much so, that, you just want the day to be over (as if, somehow, a fresh luck comes with dawn). 2010 was that crappy day for me, only, my crappy day lasted a year long.
In fairness to the year, 2010, I had some beautiful things happen as well. It was the year, I graduated with my Masters degree (with distinction I may add. What can I say, I have my smart cookie moments). It was also the year my first nephew was born (He was one cute baby with plenty of hair. He’s still cute but more talkative now). I am sure some other good things happened in 2010 but it is a year I remember for all the bad stuff that happened, basically, for all the good people who passed.
2010 began with the loss of my dear great-uncle, Dr Edun. Just the thought of him makes me smile. He was such a quiet soul, so rational. In many ways, he was my Maya Angelou; had a quiet intelligence and you could listen to him talk (A true elder). He had been ill for a while, so I guess it wasn’t shocking when he passed, but no less hurtful. Next was another Uncle, Edema Abrakata. I wasn’t close to him but that didn’t make it any less sad because I knew him and he was family too. He was the first person I ever saw with a cellular phone **Hahahaha**; for some reason, I remember that day clearly even though I was just a child. He was still at the prime of his life and had little kids he hadn’t yet seen grown enough.
Just around July, another person in my life passed again. Much younger this time, with a lot left to accomplish, my dear family friend, Aboyewa Pinnick. Oh! He was such a darling and we were kind of sweet on each other for a while. I remember my paranoid mother trying hard to keep us apart and fortunately for her, it was just one of those teen infatuation that passed quickly *hehehehe*. We had lost touch for a while and just about a month before he left, he had called me out of the blue. I was super excited and promised to see him when he relocated to the UK,where I was at the time. Only, he never made it out. I was in a state of shock when my mum called to tell me.
Trust me, at this point, the year was already bad enough. Death, which had seemed like some distant reality before then, had come too close for comfort, unfortunately, it wasn’t quite done yet. I had been in the UK for about a year at this point, I was homesick. Hadn’t met my nephew yet, seen my sisters and other family in a while, I just wanted to go home. My dad would say, ‘you should finish your programme first’, but I wasn’t having any of that. Plus, I still had an unused return ticket. So I booked a flight and went on a short trip home. I remember telling my dad, ‘Well, you didn’t want me to come home, so I am not telling you when I am coming’. It was supposed to be my surprise. Only, he surprised me by dying on me.
It happened too suddenly that sometimes, even after five years, it still feels surreal. I did not get any last words, didn’t get to hold his hands and help him take his last breath (I guess that’s the part that still hurts the most). Oh well! It is what it is. My dad was gone in just about a week of my getting home. But like they say, life goes on, so I pulled myself together, wrote my dissertation and just wanted to be rid of 2010. It was by far, the worst year I have ever had. But unfortunately, even though it was already October, there was still two months and some weeks left, so it just kept swinging.
Within the last two months, my dear dear dear baby cousin, Toni Edema (who was more like my younger sister than cousin) and one the closest male friends I ever had, Godwin Odeahan, both passed. When I eventually got these news respectively (someone in my family thought it was a good idea not to tell me for a while). I was so heartbroken but I just couldn’t cry anymore.Toni was such a pretty girl (You couldn’t see her without mentioning it). Her mum’s only child and consolation. Her smile could light up a room, unassuming and gentle. On the other hand, Goddy was one of those people, I could be honest with. He accepted you without judgement (A rare virtue, I believe). These were two terrible losses indeed.
I remember December 31st, 2010. I went to church so excitedly for the crossover service and when the clock struck midnight; I breathed out a sigh of relief because in my heart, I felt the jinx broken. I knew it had left a mark that would stay with me forever but nevertheless, I was grateful, 2010 was finally over!