30ish & Single(Still): Dating Younger Men

16 Jan

‘The best form of Karma when you stand in judgement over other people’s decisions is finding yourself making similar decisions down the line as life throws you, your own curve ball’.

About 5 years ago, I had just started a new job and had to do a mandatory training with 4 other people. Soon, we all got familiar and started discussing personal details about ourselves. Somehow, one of the ladies, who was about 31 at the time mentioned she lived with her boyfriend who was younger than her (Can’t remember how much younger). I must have had a face because the next thing I remember, I was giving my opinion on how I don’t judge women who date younger men but it wasn’t something I could do; absolutely not! (For someone who wasn’t judging, that statement in itself was laced with judgement. I like to believe I am less judgemental these days).

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, over the holidays, I sat down with a dear friend who I hadn’t seen in a bit and we got chatting; playing catch up. Now, you can say that we both fall under the category, 30ish & Single and as expected, our conversation eventually drifted to men and relationships. We both honestly acknowledged that the idea of dating younger men, which had felt like an abomination a couple of years ago, didn’t seem so abominable these days. Our worldview had shifted that somehow we were now standing in the shoes of my ex-colleague from a couple of years back. It was actually a laughable admission because we could only recently admit to this new view which was a complete U-turn from our earlier stance. Statements like ‘Age & Maturity don’t necessarily go together’, ‘Relationships these days are more about partnership’ and ‘Age is just a number’ have become loosely used *hehehehe*. It’s no longer a question of whether younger is acceptable but how much younger is acceptable? One or two or three years difference? Maybe even more? Hopefully not so much that we pull the Cougar Jennifer Lopez **Coughs** card (That was just a joke, no judgement from me).

I guess the general point is this, as you get older, you realise that some factors which you thought were so important in making your decisions, turn out not to be so important after all. Some people may say that it is as a result of desperation to accomplish a goal; I don’t know anything about that. What I have come to understand is this: Tying the knot isn’t really a goal but rather a journey, so as you grow older and wiser (hopefully), your idea of marriage changes and you become more willing to do away with the trivial conditions that if I may say, were influenced by societal/cultural biases in the first instance.

Oh! And of course, I did learn a valuable lesson to be careful how I throw my opinions about other people’s life around, because who knows, I just may find myself making same decisions down the line of this puzzle called life. Like they say; Karma is a bi***.


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