Birthday Bash…

20 Oct

‘Oga! We had an agreement’, she stated gently, carefully removing his hand from her thighs.

‘Oooo! Why are you behaving like this na’, he countered, obviously, hoping to somehow convince his hand further up her thighs.

She was determined to go out!

It was her birthday and this time it was a happy birthday. The last two years had been a bit sad, a little indifferent but this year, Ruby had chosen to be happy.

With all the ‘happy birthday’ that came from close friends, there was also the demand that she went out to celebrate.

‘Ruby, you never do anything fun, you really should go out today’.

Why not? She asked herself, there was nothing like cuddling up in bed with a glass of wine and a television series at the end of the day but what better excuse to go out than a birthday celebration. However, the decision to go out wasn’t without its challenges. The first and major one being that she needed a wing person. Experience had taught her that as a woman,going dancing alone at a nightclub in Nigeria is branded both boring and desperate. Everyone assumes you are up to no good with only the intention of picking up a random man for a Las Vegas kind of night (Not like she cared what people thought, but she didn’t want to deal with any form of embarrassment). Finding a wing person should have been simple enough, but with Ruby’s track record, it was anything but easy. All her favourite fun people were in other cities and it wasn’t like she could teleport them over. Even though she had been in the city for about 3 years, she hadn’t really bothered with making new friends because she never went anywhere anyways and knew she likely would never keep in touch.

She continued to rack her brain for a plausible solution. Aha! There was Kunle, she remembered excitedly. Kunle was a boy who she was friendly with, never mind she hadn’t spoken to him in months, but he had always been eager to take her out. Okay, maybe more than take her out, but who cares, she thought. She needed a date for the evening and instincts said if she called him, he would jump at the opportunity. logo.jpgAfter all, it was Friday and he was one of those people who thought it a sin not to go out on a Friday night. She knew she could never date him, not because he was younger than her (Younger isn’t bad, she believed) but mainly because he was a bit immature, too much of a trend follower; one of those people who felt the need to know the trendiest song and dance move. Probably watched a television show because it was the ‘cool show’ on TV. She didn’t really think there was anything wrong with being a trend follower, but she believed if you liked stuff just because some group of people came together to say it was cool to like it, then, you are a floater (Not grounded enough in character) and she really couldn’t abide floaters (for too long). But this wasn’t about dating or anything like that; it was just about making sure she had a good birthday. So, she called and as expected, it was a date.

Everything went on okay, a few arguments here and there about location choice but eventually, she got something close to what she wanted and it was fun. She even got to meet two of his friends who tagged along but they were great and it was fine. Eventually, at about 3am, she was anti-climaxing at the fun and wanted to go home to sleep. Thankfully, everyone was in agreement about leaving, not necessarily going home to sleep though. Kunle’s friends had picked up some random girls at the club to take home. How people do stuff like that, Ruby could never understand (e be like say them never see the kind STD when get better jazz). But then, she wasn’t lord over anyone’s life, so what was her own in the matter. Anyways, everybody said their byes and Kunle and her left the club.

Just as they pulled off the street to leave, he skilfully brought up his love proposal again, ‘you have been so mean to me, Ruby…’ bla bla bla which ended with ‘let’s go back to my place and talk’.

‘Your place ke! ‘Oga, biko I am tired and just want to sleep so you should really take me home’, Ruby responded in her straight forward way.

It’s not like that, I really just want to talk’, he assured

‘And, I really just want to sleep’, Ruby countered

After much back and forth, she accepted to go home with him. It was 3am already and her phone battery was flat so getting someone to let her into her house would have been a challenge.

‘Okay, we would go to your place, we can talk until I fall asleep, but Oga, that’s all that is happening; talk! Nothing else! You can’t even touch my leg’, she emphasized

‘No wahala. Let’s go’, he accepted.

As soon as they got to his place and she quickly plugged in her phone so she could boot up her battery a bit and laid down to sleep. The next thing she realised, Kunle has lying next to her, touching her leg, the very leg she had emphasized he couldn’t touch (But what did she really think, sef?).

‘Oga! We had an agreement’, she stated gently, carefully removing his hand from her thighs.

‘Oooo! Why are you behaving like this na’, he countered, obviously, hoping to somehow convince his hand further up her thighs.

They argued for a bit and when it was getting slightly heated, Ruby realised there was no way he could be reasonable and coming in the first place was a mistake. She picked up her phone, shoes and purse and asked him to please take her home.

‘I am tired, I can’t go out again’, he responded

‘Are you kidding me? She was stunned at how unreasonable he was being.

‘You just said you can’t guarantee you can keep your hands to yourself and you can’t take me home too, so what am I expected to do?’ she asked confusedly and a bit hysterical. Right before her eyes, Kunle had gone from being Mr. Nice guy to Mr. Despicable and all because of sex!

At this point, she knew she had to leave, it was really late, and the chances of getting a cab were very slim. She didn’t want to call any family member to pick her up because she knew that stories tend to spread amongst her family and there was no way everyone wouldn’t hear about it and assume she couldn’t handle herself. She wasn’t exactly dressed to walk home, plus, it was far off and well, dangerous but she didn’t really have much of a choice, whatever options laid before her, it did not involve spending the night in the house of a man who was three times her small size, had taken a couple of drinks, and was being completely unreasonable. She picked up her stuff, prepared to walk home if need be. Luckily, she found a pair of slippers just outside the door, not caring who they belonged to or that it wasn’t her size, she slipped into them and left.

Ruby banged on his gate with all the annoyance she could muster until the gateman woke up and opened the gate for her. She walked for about 10 minutes, holding her shoe firmly like a weapon and constantly looking over her shoulders to ensure there wasn’t anyone up to no good following her on the empty street. Thankfully, the heavens smiled on her and a cab came along. She quickly stopped it and jumped in even before she told cabbie where she was going. He could have charged her N5000 for all she cared (Well, not really because she still haggled the fare a bit, maybe more out of annoyance at the male population than anything else). Thankfully, her phone battery had charged just enough for her to call her gateman, who stood at the gate waiting for her to get home.

She wanted an eventful birthday and she most certainly had gotten one; way too eventful than ordinarily planned but definitely worth remembering.

Needless to say, Kunle became history to her but on a brighter note; she had come out of the situation with a couple of lessons learnt:

Going out at night with a ‘boy’ who is sexually interested in you, especially when you know you have no intention of ever giving in, is a terrible idea.

Never listen to a man who says he just wants to talk at his apartment; they never just want to talk!

Do not go out with immature boys dressed up as men.

Always make sure your phone is properly charged if you are going out at night.

Television series and a glass of wine on a comfortable bed is way more peaceful.

Most importantly, listen to your instincts and don’t allow yourself be guilt-tripped into doing what you have already said No to.

Finally, there is a God and he loves her enough to intervene even when she is being stupid because in her head, there are two other plausible endings to this story and they aren’t pretty.

1 Comment

Posted by on October 20, 2016 in 30…ish and Single (Still), Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

One response to “Birthday Bash…

  1. Tene_T

    October 20, 2016 at 8:31 am

    Reblogged this on 30ish & Single (Still).


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