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2010 – Etched in my memory

“There are memories that time does not erase… Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.”

You know how sometimes, you just have a crappy day with one annoying event happening after another, so much so, that, you just want the day to be over (as if, somehow, a fresh luck comes with dawn). 2010 was that crappy day for me, only, my crappy day lasted a year long.

In fairness to the year, 2010, I had some beautiful things happen as well. It was the year, I graduated with my Masters degree (with distinction I may add. What can I say, I have my smart cookie moments). It was also the year my first nephew was born (He was one cute baby with plenty of hair. He’s still cute but more talkative now). I am sure some other good things happened in 2010 but it is a year I remember for all the bad stuff that happened, basically, for all the good people who passed. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 19, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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INTERLUDE: DAMI’S FAMILY PICTURE

A couple of weeks ago, Dami (My sister’s son) drew a picture of his family, at school. Every time I think of the conversation that ensued, I crack up in laughter. But before I tell the story, a little background information on Dami’s family.

Dami is four years old and has a younger sister, Nina, who is two. Dami lives with his mummy, daddy, sister and Nanny called Esther. Every day after school, Dami goes to his Grandma’s house, where he stays till evening when his parents finish from work. At Grandma’s House, there is Mola, his cousin (Both their mums are sisters, my sisters). Dami and Mola are very close and he calls Mola his brother. There is also Auntie Gbemi (Mola’s mommy), Rita (Mola’s nanny), Patricia (stays with Grandma and helps around the house), Big Daddy (Grandma’s brother who is around on weekdays for work) and occasionally, me (Dami’s Auntie).

Now back to the story, Dami brings his picture from school (Need I say very proud of himself). He has drawn 10 people in it. Two big people, holding hands with three small people on one side and five big people, also holding hands, on the other side (I call them big and small because some are taller than others) . So I ask Dami, ‘who are these? He says ‘My family’.

‘Really’ I say.

‘Can you point out each person to me?’ I ask again.

Happily, Dami starts pointing each person out.

First Five – Mommy, Daddy, Me, my brother, Mola and my sister, Nina (You know its Nina because this person is little with what looks like red curls on her head)

Now the interesting part;

Second five people standing on the other side – Grandma, Auntie Rita (Nanny 1), Auntie Esther (Nanny 2), Auntie Patricia (Nanny 3), and Big Daddy (Grandma’s Brother).

It seemed Dami had drawn everyone in the house as his family. So naturally I wonder why my sister (Mola’s mommy) and I are not in the picture. After all, we are family too and we live in the same house.

So I ask ‘Where are Auntie Gbemi and I?’ to which my adorable nephew looks even more puzzled and answers me ‘If I draw the both of you, I becomes extended family’ (Hahahahaha)

Ha! So all the nannies, grandma and big daddy are part of Dami’s nuclear family but my sister and I are extended family. Never mind that Mola made it into the picture and his mother didn’t.

Considering the people look more like aliens than actual humans (Its safe to say we now know for certain that Dami is not going to be an artist), I don’t know whether I should be grateful that I have been excluded from Dami’s merry NUCLEAR family.

What can I say, “The soul is healed by being with children.”

 

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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LIFE’S REALITY

Since my blogging experience began, I have been looking forward to today, the 4th of September. For the past two years, today is a day I have reserved in my heart and head to remember my dad (daddy) who passed on this day, three years ago.  Not to say I don’t remember him almost every other day, because I do. But today and the 10th of April (his birthday) are those special days reserved to reflex on my years with him; laugh at the funny memories and cry a little (or much).

I remember the first time I read a post from my blog to my mother, she said to me ‘you know, you should really write about your dad’ and I said ‘of course’. In my head, I had previously decided to wait until today where my thoughts on my dad comes flooding right to the brim of my head and wanting to write about him, almost inevitably. However, the weirdest thing happened today… I forgot!!!!!

I woke up this morning and I forgot what today should mean to me. I didn’t remember until I got a text from my brother. ‘What!!!!! How on earth is this possible????’ I thought. For an hour or so after I got the text, I was so mad at myself (maybe still mad at myself). I couldn’t (can’t) imagine how on earth I could have forgotten. Let me explain, I am one of those girls, who her daddy meant the world to her and was a huge part of her life (literally); as a child, travelling a lot with him (My sisters and I), plaiting his hair and him having to cover it up when visitors came by **hahaha** (Almost forgot that one).  He was involved in practically every life decision I made. He pushed, encouraged and often intimated into accepting his opinion (‘advice’, he would call it, but trust me, it was definitely more imposing than an advice **laughs**). When he passed, I thought ‘I would give anything to have that imposing “advice” again’. To hear him laugh, talk and even shout. I thought my world was crumbling down before me and I could do nothing to stop it. I thought,’God!! There is no way I am getting over this’, but today I forgot!! How does one go from believing life is over to forgetting the day that should be so important? And all I could think about was one word, Life!!!!!

As much as I love my dad, as much as he meant the world to me, Life continues. I don’t know if saying this is appropriate (but when has saying anything true been appropriate) or just makes me a cold-hearted person (maybe it does) but I also know it’s honest. I remember my dad in little ways every now and then and when someone important comes into my life, I want them to know how important he was to me. But truth be said, Life has moved on and sometimes the reality of life means we have two options; jump off the nearest cliff (Please don’t go jumping) or move on. As sad as it may be, it seems like I have moved on too.

Although for many years, my dad was a huge part of my life; although writing this makes me remember those frustrating days just before and after he passed on, and makes my heart break all over again, so much so, I can feel it and it makes my eyes well up. I have come to realise that life means sometimes you forget and also means, you always move on.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is this:

Love hard while you can

Let the people in your life know how much they mean to you

Treasure the memories of loss ones every time you remember because truth be said, sometimes you will forget.

But in it all, when you forget, it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped to love or the person meant less

Because I am absolutely certain my dad didn’t; never, not to me.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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