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Tag Archives: Feminism

STOP BEGGING AND FIGHT…

I read a story recently about a lady, who a man had ran into her car accidentally but instead of sorting out the repairs with her, had insisted on speaking to her husband. Reason for this; her husband would understand the situation better (or something along that line). Other passers-by (men as well), who had also stopped at the scene expressed the same opinion and insisted that the lady call her husband. But, this lady had no husband! She was single and according to her, felt so embarrassed by the way these men kept insisting on her calling her husband that she was moved to tears. In her words, ‘I have never been more embarrassed in my life’.

I am going to start by saying there are a lot of things wrong with this story; from the fact that these men believed that the lady was too much of a ‘girl’ to understand the details of how the car was going to get fixed, to the assumption that her fictional husband was so much of a ‘man’ that he would understand the details of fixing the car. Personally, I would have thought that they should have insisted she called a professional i.e. her mechanic, but apparently, I am girl, so what do I know.

Now on to the main reason for this post, a couple of weeks after this story was narrated on a very popular blog, I read again that some famous Nigerian ladies had taken to social media to demand equality for both sexes; to this I say, great. People shouldn’t be underrated or overrated because of their gender. Now, their reason for the sudden outburst was as a result of the above incident; then I got confused and this is why… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Life is Messy…

‘Your standardised ideologies will not always fit your life; because life is messy’

–  Chimamanda Adichie

The above quote was cut from Wellesley Commencement Address given by my girl crush, Chimamanda Adichie. Immediately she said those words, it jumped at me because it felt like she had looked into my mind and taken a thought I had been trying to eloquently express for a while and there it was, perfectly phrased, finally! Not entirely sure if we meant it in the same context but the phrase fitted my thoughts perfectly.

Our stance, opinions, even our beliefs are constantly being challenged by the reality of life. Every now and then, even more often than we like to admit, we find ourselves taking actions that are contrary to our proclaimed ideologies. Sometimes, not even because we have stopped believing in what we believe but just because of a thousand different reasons and other times, because real experiences has shifted our stance until we have become ‘less sure’. It’s easy to say something should be this or that until you are stuck in that situation and you just may find yourself doing the exact opposite; the high road all of a sudden has become too high, the very action you criticized has become your choice, your firm proclaimed ideology no longer firm enough to dominate the situation, your feminist view is out the window and yes, you have compromised. It’s no longer black or white, it has become grey. Many would say that the term for this is hypocrisy, maybe it is or maybe it isn’t. But I think a fairer term is Life! Ideologically, life is straight-forward but realistically, it is messy and at the end of the day, the life we have now, is life, in its truest definition to us.

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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In and Out of Time

It’s amazing how sometimes you learn and know more of people after they are gone from this world. I really didn’t know much of Maya Angelou. Actually, the first time I saw her was when she featured in Tyler Perry’s Madea Family Reunion. For those who haven’t seen the movie, she recited a poem almost at the end of it and I loved it. She seemed so intense and wise, and you could see that it was beyond her character to her real person. The kind of woman, whose words you would be wise to acknowledge.

Maya Angelou; A Phenomenal Woman indeed

Maya Angelou; A Phenomenal Woman indeed

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Posted by on May 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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OBSERVATIONS: TIPS FOR TGIF…

 

‘I need to know if you are here with someone because we don’t allow unattached single girls in on a Friday night’.  Said what!

 

It was supposed to be a fun time with the girls. Tania was in town and this provided the perfect excuse for Tami and Maya to do something fun on Friday night. Both girls, cousins and also flatmates (technically, Maya was squatting) managed to find themselves at home, in front of the television every Friday night (or any other night), never mind their elaborate plans in the morning. Tami had been working and living in Abuja for a long time and when Maya got a job that required her to move to Abuja, they were both excited, thinking they could motivate each other in going out more often, but that didn’t go exactly as planned.

Friday night outing hardly ever happened for them and it wasn’t because they didn’t want to, but by the time it was Friday evening, they were both too tired to indulge in the fanfare of sexy clothes, makeup, driving and hitting the bar (or wherever). A quiet night at home in front of the television always seemed too much like heaven in comparison. However, with Tami’s younger sister, Tania, in town for the night, their morale was duly boosted to take a night off their normal routine.

So amidst the tiredness, they decided to have a girl’s night out. They called up Elizabeth to make it a party of four (The more, the merrier they say) and pulled out all the works necessary for every girl going out on a Friday night ; Dress; check! Red lipstick; check! High-heeled shoe; check! Cash; check! (And yes, that is truly where the list ended so get your mind out of the gutters).

Tami and Maya were okay with just a regular bar where they could listen to good music, trade dirty stories and have a good bottle of wine (Okay! Maybe two or three), but Tania wanted to dance so Tami decided to take the girls to a perfect place where everyone could have what they wanted. ‘Drink tavern’ it was called; a mid-scale bar/club with good sitting area out in an open air bungalow; also, an indoor club for Tania and Elizabeth to dance and very important, affordable drinks and meals (it is Abuja after all).

They pulled up to Drink tavern and after a bit of difficulty getting a parking space within the premises, hooped out, all ready to have a good girls night out. With Tami, the designated driver taking the lead, they walked into the bar and boom! It got interesting (relatively).

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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Born Female = A Disadvantage! Really?

About a week ago, I heard the most shocking thing ever and what made it worse, was the fact that it came from someone I respect greatly. It was during a teaching. He had deviated a bit and was talking about how certain social facts of one’s life could define the course of their lives. I couldn’t have agreed more until he said ‘being born a woman is a disadvantage’!

When I heard this, my first reaction was, as you would assume; you said what!!!! Who says something like that? Of course that isn’t true and even if it was, you don’t say it out loud, especially not coming from a man! I felt so offended that I wanted to shout out; hey, wait! Haven’t you heard of all the women in the world who are doing so great? All the women who can contend, withstand and even win the men in their respective professions? Haven’t you heard about Hilary Clinton, Sheryl Sandberg, Sonia Gandhi, Angela Merkel, Dilma Rousseff, Christine Lagarde, Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce Knowles, Geun-hye Park, to mention just a few? These are women whose names ring a bell wherever and whenever. They are not just among the Forbes world 100 most powerful women; they are in a fact among the 100 most powerful people. Let’s bring it back home a bit; there is Ngozi Iweala Okonji (Great woman, both within and outside Nigeria) and Chimamanda Adichie (Again, globally known and appreciated for her works in and out of literature). How then can someone say that being born a woman is a disadvantage? And so, I ranted and raved in my head.

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Posted by on February 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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