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Tag Archives: Life

Experience Does Not Always Make You The Authority

“Imagine a wall that’s green on one side and red on the other. You stand on one side and only see green. I stand on the other side and only see red. We’ll both be right about the color we see, even though we disagree on what color the wall is. Being able to realize that the other person has a valid point, even if you disagree with it, that’s maturity.”

 Oliver Gaspirtz

Losing a loved one to the cold hands of death gives you a perspective on loss that only experience can explain effectively. However, it is easy to think that this experience makes us the authority on the topic of loss, but I have come to understand that this is not accurate. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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30ish & Single(Still): Dating Younger Men

‘The best form of Karma when you stand in judgement over other people’s decisions is finding yourself making similar decisions down the line as life throws you, your own curve ball’.

About 5 years ago, I had just started a new job and had to do a mandatory training with 4 other people. Soon, we all got familiar and started discussing personal details about ourselves. Somehow, one of the ladies, who was about 31 at the time mentioned she lived with her boyfriend who was younger than her (Can’t remember how much younger). I must have had a face because the next thing I remember, I was giving my opinion on how I don’t judge women who date younger men but it wasn’t something I could do; absolutely not! (For someone who wasn’t judging, that statement in itself was laced with judgement. I like to believe I am less judgemental these days).

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, over the holidays, I sat down with a dear friend who I hadn’t seen in a bit and we got chatting; playing catch up. Now, you can say that we both fall under the category, 30ish & Single and as expected, our conversation eventually drifted to men and relationships. Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

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Hurray! 2016 is here

Happy New Year folks!

‘I pray that we stay positive, daring and thankful throughout the year, no matter the challenge’.

The beautiful thing about new years is that people have generally come to accept them as new beginnings. The moment the clock strikes at 12am, it feels like the slate of the old year has been wiped clean; all your achievements or/and failures of the previous year are a thing of the past and we all get a do-over. Most people (myself included) make new goals, plans, expectations and resolutions but way too often before the first quarter of the year is over, we get carried away again with routine and somehow those elaborate plans we made, fade off with the excitement of the new year. The year has become old, so the fire we started with has waned off.

However, I hope the year 2016 is different for us all in a positive way. So here’s my prayer for everyone, again, myself included: Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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30ish and Single (Still) – Family Weddings

Ever attended a family wedding when you are of ‘marriageable age’ and still single? Trust me, not a fun experience (Am sure most people can relate, especially, Africans). It’s like being locked inside a hen cage (That’s the best analogy I can come up with, so manage it). The well-meaning aunties and uncles (in my case, add brother to the list), all in one place, making sly comments about coming together again to ‘eat your rice’ and celebrate with you’ (Don’t I wish the comments were about making financial contribution towards the imaginary wedding). Heaven forbids that you tell them, there isn’t even a significant man in your life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

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2010 – Etched in my memory

“There are memories that time does not erase… Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.”

You know how sometimes, you just have a crappy day with one annoying event happening after another, so much so, that, you just want the day to be over (as if, somehow, a fresh luck comes with dawn). 2010 was that crappy day for me, only, my crappy day lasted a year long.

In fairness to the year, 2010, I had some beautiful things happen as well. It was the year, I graduated with my Masters degree (with distinction I may add. What can I say, I have my smart cookie moments). It was also the year my first nephew was born (He was one cute baby with plenty of hair. He’s still cute but more talkative now). I am sure some other good things happened in 2010 but it is a year I remember for all the bad stuff that happened, basically, for all the good people who passed. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 19, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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PRIVILEGE

“It’s easy to fictionalize an issue when you’re not aware of the many ways in which you are privileged by it.”
― Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation

I have always thought of privilege as being born with a silver spoon (Although, in my head, a ‘gold spoon’ is a more appropriate term). In many ways, I guess that is what privilege is; an unearned advantage that should give us an edge over some others, in life.

It is amazing how easy it is to see what we term as disadvantages in our lives. ‘Oh! I wasn’t born with a trust fund’ (Personally, wish I was), ‘I was born in the wrong part of town or even the world’, ‘I was born with buck teeth’ (Just had to say this one *hahahaha*, sorry, not funny), ‘I wasn’t born pretty enough’ and so on. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Life is Messy…

‘Your standardised ideologies will not always fit your life; because life is messy’

–  Chimamanda Adichie

The above quote was cut from Wellesley Commencement Address given by my girl crush, Chimamanda Adichie. Immediately she said those words, it jumped at me because it felt like she had looked into my mind and taken a thought I had been trying to eloquently express for a while and there it was, perfectly phrased, finally! Not entirely sure if we meant it in the same context but the phrase fitted my thoughts perfectly.

Our stance, opinions, even our beliefs are constantly being challenged by the reality of life. Every now and then, even more often than we like to admit, we find ourselves taking actions that are contrary to our proclaimed ideologies. Sometimes, not even because we have stopped believing in what we believe but just because of a thousand different reasons and other times, because real experiences has shifted our stance until we have become ‘less sure’. It’s easy to say something should be this or that until you are stuck in that situation and you just may find yourself doing the exact opposite; the high road all of a sudden has become too high, the very action you criticized has become your choice, your firm proclaimed ideology no longer firm enough to dominate the situation, your feminist view is out the window and yes, you have compromised. It’s no longer black or white, it has become grey. Many would say that the term for this is hypocrisy, maybe it is or maybe it isn’t. But I think a fairer term is Life! Ideologically, life is straight-forward but realistically, it is messy and at the end of the day, the life we have now, is life, in its truest definition to us.

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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MEDICINE AFTER DEATH

Yesterday, I read an article by Piers Morgan and I went, ‘Thank God! Here is someone who thinks like me!’ and because this is the second time we have expressed same opinion, it just has to be said; I really like Piers Morgan.

Okay, now on to my article…

For what used to be rare occurrence, it seems like the world is having plane disasters too often these days. The very fact that when this happens, it ends up claiming the lives of so many people in such a brutal and final way, is even more disheartening. You feel the impact of the loss whether or not you personally knew someone on the plane.

As would all airplane crashes, in the days following the devastating Germanwings crash, the world is still trying to comprehend the details of such a tragedy with all fingers pointing towards the co-pilot, Andreas Lubitz. As we now know, he intentionally crashed the plane, taking along with him, the lives of 149 people of which included school children, babies and other people with promising futures. How thoughtless!! No kind of depression can excuse such inhumane act and heaven forgive me, but I hope his death was slow and painful (Yes! I said it).

Now, here is where I have major beef, it has come to light that Andreas Lubitz was depressed and even ruled unfit to fly by two different doctors. While I agree that he, Andreas Lubitz, is an adult who should be responsible for his own actions and as such is the no. 1 culprit in this sickening incident, I also believe that the airline is culpable and this is why… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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THOUGHT OF THE DAY: A PLACE OF GRACE!

You ever wondered what you would change about your life if you had the chance? I have.

The fact of life is that no matter how beautiful you are in the eyes of others, we all still see imperfections here and there when we look in the mirror; whether it is in our physical attributes, personality/character or our life in general. We pick holes here and there because we believe we need things we don’t have. ‘I wish my nose wasn’t so big’, ‘I was taller’, ‘I was prettier or slimmer’, ‘I was  more patient’, ‘more extroverted’, or ‘I had that job, house or car’ and so on and so forth. No matter how much we have, the list is always endless. 

Focussing on the things we are not and don’t have, seems to be the generic attribute of the human self.  I remember what a friend said to me a long time ago, she said, ‘if you take your problems to the market place, a lot of people will leave theirs and buy yours’. For every problem you think is important just now, trust me, there are a thousand worse places you could be in. No question, it can always be better, but it can also be worse. So instead of concentrating on the bad, be thankful for the good and strive to attain the better.

In the realistic face of death, all the things which may seem so important now, becomes trivial. So if you believe there isn’t anything to be grateful for (even though that is highly unlikely), be grateful for life for with it comes today and tomorrow which is still full of promise.

Remember this, imperfection is perfection! It is just about how you choose to carry it. Today, I choose to carry mine with a smile and a grateful heart, you should too. 

 
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Posted by on December 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A Special Day!

The birth of a child is almost always celebrated.

It is the beginning of  life for a new being.

Life filled with hope and possibilities;

Possibilities of what the child could be,

What it could achieve.

Today, I celebrate your birth! Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A SILENT KILLER…

Part of the thought for this post came to me earlier yesterday evening. By later yesterday night, just before I fell asleep, I came across a story, purely by chance or fate (whichever), that was both very sad and mysterious. It is a true-life story from 2006 with a documentary done on it, in 2011. However, I hadn’t heard anything about it until last night. From the information I found, it was a widely spread and discussed story at the time of its occurrence and again, when the documentary was done (Not sure how I missed it).

This is the story of Joyce Carol Vincent, a young woman of 38, whose skeletal remains was found on 25th January, 2006, in her bedsit flat, in Wood Green housing estate, London. Now, this is where it gets really spooky; she had died three years earlier in 2003 but wasn’t found until that fateful day in 2006 when Council officials had gone to her flat to repossess it due to unpaid bills. There she was, very dead, lying on the sofa in front of television which was still on and tuned in to BBC1, along with a still functional heating and electricity. She was so decomposed that she could only be identified by her dental records. Apparently, she had died with no one knowing or looking for her for three long years (true but unbelievable)!!!!

A major story with British Media at the time in 2006

A major story with British Media at the time in 2006

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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