RSS

Tag Archives: Nigeria

SURVIVAL – A Short Story

“Life is but a tale of choices and effects”

loHis body had washed up along the shores in Elegushi. Eyewitnesses commented on how badly decomposed he was; saying they couldn’t look at the body for too long, but somehow still managed to get some photos in the hope of selling it to entertainment bloggers for quick cash. Her Michael was dead and some people thought it a means to make money. Lola really couldn’t complain as it was those reports that had helped her and his family finally find him after being missing for 2 weeks, 5 days and some hours.

She had been holed up in her room where she spent most of her time since Michael’s disappearance, when Tutu, his younger sister had frantically ran into her room alerting the family about the body on the shores of Elegushi. Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 5, 2016 in Short story

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT? A Bystander’s Perspective

This rhetoric and the promise to make entering the United States difficult for Muslims is just the kind that the extreme Americans want to hear and Trump is unafraid and unapologetic to say it out loud. To most of his supporters and fans, he is a breath of fresh air and America is in dire need of fresh air.

I have never really been interested in politics. Being from my part of the world, I was quick to learn that the system is mostly plagued with individuals more concerned about their personal benefits and lacing their pockets, than effecting real policies that can positively shape society and create a greater nation for future generations to come. i

Paradoxically, I have been drawn to a few elections that represented the beginning of new possibilities. The United States 2008 presidential election was one of those. A black man was a leading candidate for President of the United States! A black man married to an intelligent black woman and with an African father, that alone was sufficient reason to be drawn to the election. I am not American, I couldn’t vote but I rooted for him. Most of the black race, irrespective of country, did. Not just because he was black, but because it had become a possibility that a brilliant and politically savvy man, irrespective of his skin colour, could become the president of the most powerful country in the world. This symbolised the growth and hope for humanity, once again with America setting the pace. It is this type of possibility that truly makes America great, earning its label as the ‘land of the free’.

With Obama’s presidency almost over and the bells for a new presidential Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 29, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

30ish and Single (Still) – Family Weddings

Ever attended a family wedding when you are of ‘marriageable age’ and still single? Trust me, not a fun experience (Am sure most people can relate, especially, Africans). It’s like being locked inside a hen cage (That’s the best analogy I can come up with, so manage it). The well-meaning aunties and uncles (in my case, add brother to the list), all in one place, making sly comments about coming together again to ‘eat your rice’ and celebrate with you’ (Don’t I wish the comments were about making financial contribution towards the imaginary wedding). Heaven forbids that you tell them, there isn’t even a significant man in your life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

GOOD OLD TIMES…

A couple of days ago, a dear friend and I were reminiscing about our childhood. Even though we didn’t know each other growing up or even grew up in the same city, we had similar stories to share; same games, similar home traditions (Mothers who would spank first and ask questions later) etc. The similarity of our stories was drawn from the fact that we grew up in same generation (well, with about four years apart). We ended our conversation with how our childhood was so different from children growing up in this generation. Out are all the games we played and enjoyed as kids; ‘Ten-ten’ ‘Siwe’, ‘koso’, games with imaginary people and cover of bottles. I remember lying down on blankets or mats in the evenings, sharing tales with my sisters. Those times created a bond and are a huge part of the memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world. These days, it all about video games and IPads (Not criticizing, I played some video games too). The point is that the western culture has not only injected itself but has taken over.

Without a doubt, there are great elements of the western culture. The obvious fact being that it has brought significant developments to the African society. It has opened us as a continent to a global world where we can experience and understand other cultures, develop and maximise our resources and industries etc. But I also believe that we (Africans) are too much in a hurry to swap our culture and traditions with the influx of the western lifestyle with little or no filtration. I believe that while there are elements of our culture that did and still do need changing such as unrealistic expectation and segregation of people because of their ‘identity’ e.g gender, tribe, beliefs etc (But on a second thought, this is a global issue). I also know that there are some of our traditions that make us beautiful. If only we could preserve the authenticity of this and pass it on to our children…

As much as we want to accept the western world, their lifestyle and culture, we should want to share ours with them as well; our games, music, beliefs (where they are non-discriminative), our family etiquettes, food and dance etc. Being global should be about giving as much as taking, but most importantly, it shouldn’t be about losing all of ourselves especially the beautiful parts, all in the name of being ‘civilized’.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 20, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

TAKE A STAND: MY POINT OF VIEW

Two days ago, I had the privilege of attending a discourse organised by the Nigerian initiative, Take A Stand. As the name implies, the initiative centres on getting Nigerians to ‘stop sitting on the side-lines and get involved in creating a truly dynamic Nigeria’. Eloquently put, get off your passive, selfish butt and extend your hand towards building the Nigeria of your dreams!

The event was highly interactive with almost all participants expressing their views on what they believed to be some of the profound problems of Nigeria. They also shared on what we, Nigerians, could do to fix it. Needless to say, I learnt a lot; it is almost impossible not to, when you are privileged to listen to brilliant people.

Points highlighted by speakers ranged from lack of real education, to growing dysfunctional homes, Bad Parenting, Dire Poverty, A disconnect between words and actions, Lack of civic responsibility, Disunity and so on.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the opportunity to add my ‘two cents’ because I had the ‘funtunity’ (I believe I just coined a new word; Fun + Opportunity **wink wink**) of working as the photographer of the event. Nevertheless, I am going to add my two cents here because I believe that this is important, not only because I am Nigerian, but because we are at a time where we if we stand up for change, we can’t be ignored.

Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 12, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

NUISANCE TO THE REGULAR PEOPLE

Jonathan Goodluck declares his intention to run for Presidency in 2015, please do tell, where exactly is the news? We all knew he was going to run since 2010 when he took over power by chance (Or what looked like chance).

So when the city of Abuja shuts down and one is stuck in undue traffic for what isn’t exactly news, it becomes a nuisance to those who just want to get on with their lives. I accept the fact that PDP is the reigning political party and subsequently, have decided they are entitled to as much noise-making as they deem fit. I even understand that times are hard and politics is the new business venture for every Tom, Dick and Harry, who anticipates that if he follows the reigning party just long enough, he might find favour with one godfather or the other and consequently hit the Jackpot. Never mind that Tom, Dick and Harry may not even believe in the ability of the party or candidate to actually fulfil the obligations of the elected office (Now, I speak in generalisation and not about any person in particular). Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 11, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The New Cool #Hashtag

There is no question that the internet gives everyone in the world, with at least a smartphone and data connection, a voice. The presence of social media: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and all others, makes it almost impossible for your cause to be ignored.It has helped the world celebrate victories for causes and nations. It has helped businesses with promotions, created more employment opportunities etc. The internet, primarily social media has turned the world into a global village and through it, millions of support has been won in forcing the governments, around the world, to pay attention as well as ensuring transparency and accountability. Social media is, in truth, the new era and the voice, we, the people, have always needed.

But like every good thing, it also has its problems such as lack of privacy and if you are paranoid, an effective tool for the government to spy on us (what can I say, I have watched too many intelligence movies) and many more others but that is a topic for another day.

Most people, who use the internet know that the use of tags is one of the most effective (if not the most effective) way of getting wide readership and attention for whatever it is you put out on the internet. I, for one, have enjoyed good success with it (And hopefully, still am).

download Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Glimpse of Hope…

There were people everywhere; definitely in the thousands.

She had thought because it was a role-specific aptitude test, the crowd would be far less.

But there were still people everywhere.

The sun was blazing hot. As she alighted from the taxi, she moved towards the shade of a big tree. It seemed a lot of people had the same idea as small groups were formed under the few trees in the vicinity.

‘Buy past questions’, a man from under the tree said. He had his eyes turned towards her but his voice was raised high enough to get the attention of everyone. His car was parked there and past questions, pens, pencils and other writing materials were spread out on the hood. He was sweating profusely and perspiration had flooded the armpits of his shirt, however, he didn’t seem to mind  much as he tried to convince people to buy something from this merchandise.

How much is it? She asked.

‘Two hundred naira’, he said. She dug out the money from the pocket of her jeans and handed it over to him. Buying it seemed like the sensible thing to do, considering she hadn’t really read much and almost everyone else under the tree seemed to be holding a copy and some even discussing its content.

Read the rest of this entry »

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

OBSERVATIONS: TIPS FOR TGIF…

 

‘I need to know if you are here with someone because we don’t allow unattached single girls in on a Friday night’.  Said what!

 

It was supposed to be a fun time with the girls. Tania was in town and this provided the perfect excuse for Tami and Maya to do something fun on Friday night. Both girls, cousins and also flatmates (technically, Maya was squatting) managed to find themselves at home, in front of the television every Friday night (or any other night), never mind their elaborate plans in the morning. Tami had been working and living in Abuja for a long time and when Maya got a job that required her to move to Abuja, they were both excited, thinking they could motivate each other in going out more often, but that didn’t go exactly as planned.

Friday night outing hardly ever happened for them and it wasn’t because they didn’t want to, but by the time it was Friday evening, they were both too tired to indulge in the fanfare of sexy clothes, makeup, driving and hitting the bar (or wherever). A quiet night at home in front of the television always seemed too much like heaven in comparison. However, with Tami’s younger sister, Tania, in town for the night, their morale was duly boosted to take a night off their normal routine.

So amidst the tiredness, they decided to have a girl’s night out. They called up Elizabeth to make it a party of four (The more, the merrier they say) and pulled out all the works necessary for every girl going out on a Friday night ; Dress; check! Red lipstick; check! High-heeled shoe; check! Cash; check! (And yes, that is truly where the list ended so get your mind out of the gutters).

Tami and Maya were okay with just a regular bar where they could listen to good music, trade dirty stories and have a good bottle of wine (Okay! Maybe two or three), but Tania wanted to dance so Tami decided to take the girls to a perfect place where everyone could have what they wanted. ‘Drink tavern’ it was called; a mid-scale bar/club with good sitting area out in an open air bungalow; also, an indoor club for Tania and Elizabeth to dance and very important, affordable drinks and meals (it is Abuja after all).

They pulled up to Drink tavern and after a bit of difficulty getting a parking space within the premises, hooped out, all ready to have a good girls night out. With Tami, the designated driver taking the lead, they walked into the bar and boom! It got interesting (relatively).

Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

MY GIRL CRUSH ROCKS!

At this rate, I probably should rename my blog as ‘The unauthorised chronicles of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’ (hahaha), seeing as I have become one of those avid fans/followers.

I read a recent short story written by the lady. It was at its simplest, captivating.  Right from the first sentence, you get drawn into the story and by the time it ends, you still want more. It reminded me of why I started reading and always hoped I would write.

Like every true Chimamanda style, it is not void of deeper societal meaning and its fair dose of truth and life realities. I have a lot more to say about this story but since I hope you would read it and I hate spoilers,I wouldn’t  say much.

But I will say this; Chimamanda has said, she couldn’t right children’s books because of her writing style (Trying really hard not to give out spoilers), I totally agree.

Nevertheless, she is a brilliant writer and I can boldly declare; My Girl Crush rocks!

Oh!!! I have copied and pasted the story below (I know a lot of us can’t be bothered with clicking on a hyperlink *winks*) Please do read and share your views. Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , ,

OKAY! WE HAVE GOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

Alright, let’s talk about hair! Don’t worry, I am not going to go all Chimamanda on you, even though to a large extent, I agree with her perspective (Chimamanda Adichie, since her last novel, Americanah, has been very vocal on her stand; saying that hair is political and how black women chose to wear their hair is very important). As much as I agree with her, I cannot exert my stand because even though I think natural is commendable, I also believe that for some of us (especially women), our natural forms just isn’t sufficient. In our natural forms, we are conscious of all our physical flaws; our eyebrows and eyelashes just aren’t full enough, so we add eyeliners and mascara or even artificial eyelashes. Our face lacks colour, so we add a little lipstick, lip liner, eye shadow or blush.  Our hair not full or long enough, so we add extensions. Modern medicine has even provided more options on enhancing and changing our physical features on a more permanent scale with nose jobs, breast and butt implants, just to mention a few. I am a girl who understands her physical flaws, hence, loves her makeup, so I haven’t earned the right to say I am an all-round pro-natural (Even though I wish I were and respect those who are comfortable with themselves enough to be all natural; no enhancement or filters). Nevertheless, I do agree that hair is a different issue, i.e, from Chimamanda’s racial-political perspective where a black woman could describe herself in her natural kinky hair as having a ‘bad hair day’. I am inclined to agree that such view is controlled by an underlining thought that says natural kinky hair isn’t beautiful.

Over the years, since I grew up and began to exercise my own rights on how I choose to wear my hair (that is my way of saying, since I rescued my hair from my mother *haha*), I have exploited a lot of options. I have gone long, short and medium length. I have also coloured my hair, red, brown, wine-red etc. I didn’t have enough patience for my hair; hence, it was more of a burden than anything else and I was constantly trying different styles/colours to make me appreciate it better.  I have always believed that a woman’s hair is a very important aspect of herself , after all, the bible does say, it is a woman’s glory. If you really want to think about it, reflect on a woman getting dressed up. She has her hair all covered in a towel or a hair cover of some sort, she’s done with the facial makeup but still feels odd. Once her hair is all made up, viola! The difference is clear; her facial look comes out better. Simple English, your hair can make or break your appearance.

About two years ago, I decided to try something different with my hair; I decided to go on dreadlocks. So I cut my hair and turned it into dreads. It was a rigorous, relatively expensive process, but I am happy to say that my hair has grown into full-blown dreads and is still growing. Even happier to declare, I love my hair!!!!!!! I now have a shameless love affair with my hair and I am loving every minute of it. My hair has stopped being a burden and is now my glory!!! Yes I said it.

So am at the petrol station the other day, an attendant asks me, ‘is that all your hair?’ and I say yes. He goes ‘It’s lovely’. I know how to take a compliment plus I get that a lot from dread lovers *winks*, so I say ‘thank you’. However, I sense this is more of an opening than a compliment and being my natural curious self I ask, ‘but?’ and he says ‘but it (dreads) doesn’t make you look responsible’ (For some reason he thinks that by declaring this profound thought, he has just imparted a great wisdom). I take no offense because I also get this stereotypical view a lot. Not really in the mood nor having the time for a debate, I just laugh and say ‘ummm’

This is where the controversy lies; some people (am refraining from saying most Nigerians) have an opinion on how I carry my hair i.e dreadlocks. Most of these opinions are drawn from the stereotypical view of watching too many reggae musicians, hence they believe that dread is an irresponsible hairstyle (another way of saying, it says, you are high on something). Some other people just assume that to dread your hair, you have to an extrovert, a bold and adventurous person. All these assumptions from just a hairstyle; impressive! *haha*. I have had someone (She knows herself) actually tell me that I would have to do away with my dreads if I want a job in the corporate world in Nigeria *ridiculous*!

Okay, let’s analyse this for a minute; with dreads, my hair is all my hair; no extensions, nothing artificial, no weaves. It is sectioned into strands just like braids and has the look of braids, only difference is that, it is in its authentic kinky form. So question: if my hair is natural; in its true kinky form and it can be packed altogether for a professional setup or styled professionally, why then is it not suitable for the corporate world? Oh! And this same view isn’t expressed for those who have artificial dreads fixed on their hair!!! Am I then to assume that wearing artificial hair is more recommendable? Again, ridiculous! Need I emphasize, that I have nothing against weaves and extensions; I just don’t get the logic that would recommend weaves, permed hair (chemically induced hair) against dreads and natural African hair, in its true form. With this view sub-consciously ruling this sort of opinion, its no wonder that Chimamanda’s view on hair has pointed out its political implications; where weaves and straight hair are the accepted definition of beauty (Consciously or subconsciously). Oh well, I promised not to go all Chimamanda on you.

Bottom line, I love my hair with its locks and in its natural kinky form (and no, I am not an artist of any sort). Saying I can’t wear my hair like this in a professional setup, or even worse, tagging my hair as inappropriate or irresponsible, is not only hilarious but critically baseless.  Like I said, natural is commendable and kinky is full, rich, African and most certainly, beautiful…

Related articles

 

 
6 Comments

Posted by on October 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

30…ish and Single (still): The Idea of Marriage

I went back and forth trying to make up my mind whether to categorise this post under my 30…ish and single (still) series. Finally decided to but I hope it communicates its original idea though.

I recently had to make a tough decision (Although my cousin would beg to differ) whether or not to stay or walk out of a relationship. Like I am sure most people can identify with me, I went back and forth in my mind, even created a list on ‘things I like about …’ (I hope you understand my reason for withholding the name).  It wasn’t so much so that there was anything wrong with this person in question; he is actually quite a good catch in some ladies’ opinion. He’s fine, has a good paying job with excellent potentials, patient, reasonable, attends church etc  (I hope if he reads this, saying this makes up for writing about him*bats lashes*). However, I knew he was wrong for me (Maybe I should say, we were wrong for each other). I tried to hold on as long as I could, telling myself I am the one with the issues (My cousin would agree **hahahaha**), always over analysing everything, ‘there is no sure thing as a perfect person’ blah blah blah. Eventually I stopped second guessing myself, mustered the courage and moved on. Making this decision didn’t come easy because, oh well, like most people would agree, being alone isn’t the easiest thing in the world and I am not a needy person. I quite enjoy my own company and know how to be alone but that doesn’t always make it easy.

During and after this decision was made, I kept questioning myself, why was this decision so hard for me to make, especially when I knew it was the right decision for a while? I eventually came to the conclusion that the reason was beyond the fear of being alone but largely, also surrounded the fact that I am 30…ish and single (Still). I am at that stage of my life where everyone is looking at you and wondering why you aren’t talking about a date for the wedding? Why you aren’t introducing anyone to the family and friends? And even worse, why isn’t there a man in your life? So at this stage, any man (especially the one with a good profile like ‘recent ex’ *lol*) becomes better than no man, regardless of how ill-suited you are for each other. This, in my opinion, is what I call the ‘idea of marriage’ and we are completely sold out to it.

Again in my opinion, this ‘idea of marriage’ primarily accounts for a huge percentage of failed marriages. It makes one blind to the faults and ill-suited attributes of the other until the nuptials are exchanged and then you decide you can’t live with them after all. But the person didn’t change (at less, not fundamentally) you just chose not to regard those attributes initially. My mother would say, don’t think what didn’t change before the wedding, would change in marriage (Except by the special grace of God). In my immediate society (Nigeria), it’s even more difficult to be at a certain age and be single (still). No matter how successful you are in your professional life etc, you are still regarded as well ‘not so successful’ in your life. No matter how old you may be, you are still called a girl and younger ladies with wedding bands and children on their hips are given more respect than you (After all, you are nobody’ wife and don’t have the covering on a man *ridiculous*). Even when you come from an understanding family like mine, even when you are liberal-minded like me, there’s still that uncertainty and fear of ending up alone and if one is not lucky, this fear pushes you into a relationship and marriage you have no business being in. Sometimes, if you are lucky, it works out just fine. Other times, you end up being unhappy and in worse cases, you end up being miserable. Your children would never look at your marriage as a yardstick to measure up to. You become one of the huge percentage of married individuals who when asked if they would marry their partners again would cry out in their hearts, ‘NO!’. Don’t get me wrong, I am adult and a realist enough to know that marriage isn’t a walk in the park. I understand it is commitment, work, loyalty, compromise. I also believe it should be love, trust, respect and compatibility among other things.

Coming from a Nigerian environment, one could say there was a time when plenty of marriages were arranged and those couples stayed together through their lives. Well, true, but this is a different time. In that age, the dynamics of marriages was different. Women were more subdued and the roles in the home were well defined, specific, with little or no overlapping. These days, the rules have changed. Women have more rights (Thank God), are more vocal, more independent. It is more of a partnership and less autocratic *winks*. Not trying to undermine the authority of men in their homes, just calling it the way I see it. So it has become essential to try one’s best to get it right from the foundation, from the beginning. To make sure that whatever you say yes to, is what you can live it. To ensure as much as possible that you are with a man/woman you can marry over again. It has become essential for our parents and family to ask the right questions like ‘does he/she make you happy?’, ‘does he/she respect and support you even when they disagree with you?’, ‘does he/she put you first and love you?’ etc.

Marriage should be a lifetime commitment (Unless of course you are in Hollywood or all the other ‘woods’) and while the future is unknown, the chances are better if you review your cards properly. I, for one, know being single isn’t the easiest thing in the world and could be socially and emotionally frustrating, so I hope I abide by my own preaching, because I can think of a whole lot things that are worse. I am also adult enough to know there isn’t a 100% perfect person but there are wrong people (at less for an individual). Nevertheless, for those who have walked down that road already, be of good cheer, I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.

After all said, what do I know, I have never been married; 30…ish and single (still)

 

 
4 Comments

Posted by on October 11, 2013 in 30…ish and Single (Still)

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

WHERE IS ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD????

I have a standard rule against writing about headlines; we have enough blogs doing just that. But this one time I am going to break my rule (I did make it after all). Normally, I shy away from stories with regards to terrorist attack; not because I am unconcerned but because I don’t handle such gruesome and senseless death very well especially when images are so visual. But I have been drawn to the news on the Kenyan Westgate Mall attack for reasons I am not very sure (Maybe it’s because I am human, just in case you didn’t know *smiles*).

Turning on the News these days is just a nightmare. It’s constantly dominated by some sort of sad story involving terrorist attacks, deaths or political unrest in one nation or the other. After a while, one even begins to accept it as the norm and defines it as News itself. These days, it is almost impossible to think of the Middle East without thinking about political unrest, death, refugees and its likes.

Such gruesome and sad realities come close to home, being in Nigeria, where over the last couple of years Muslim extremists have terrorised the northern part of the country, in the name of some religious/political statement or the other. But even being a Nigerian and living in Nigeria presently, these current happenings still feels like some far away story because, well, I don’t live in the north and have never personally experienced such nightmare first hand (Thank God for that). It is this way for me as it is for a lot of people, whose experiences of this is only what they hear and read about. I am not saying people don’t empathise, but truth be said, one cannot really understand the depth of such terror if you’ve never experienced it. Sadly, this distant reality is an everyday terror for some people who live in Syria and other places, even some places in Northern Nigeria. For some unfortunate people like those involved in the Kenya Westgate Mall attack, it is an unexpected reality, they only thought they could read and hear about, nevertheless, a reality that struck and they will live it for the rest of their lives (Assuming they were lucky enough to survive the attack).

Considering how dominant these sad realities have become, it is no wonder they hardly come as a shock anymore. Hearing about Boko Haram attack in Northern Nigeria is less of a shock than it was when it all began. Hearing about riots and unrest in Egypt has become a passing story for most of us, even less, attacks and suicide bombers in the Middle East. And honestly, this, in my opinion, is what makes it sadder. It is so sad and heart-breaking that such gruesome attacks and senseless deaths have become part of the world’s reality so much so that, no matter how much BBC, CNN or any other television network repeats the story or get different analysts to analyse it from different angles, it has become normal to the average individual who isn’t directly involved in it. We may stay glued to the television, we may empathize with those involved but the reality is, it is someone else’s reality and we move on with our own lives, our own issues and the next story.

However, this time, the last attack on Kenya Westgate Mall did hit me more personally than before. I have spent more time thinking about it, analysing it in my mind over and over again. Trying to see if I can understand the terror those involved experienced (even though I know I can’t) or what could ever make a human being lay siege on another fellow human being in much a frightful and despicable manner? Maybe my longer focus on this attack is because it went on over a couple of days, maybe it’s because the visual images of those involved included pictures of children with such unguided terror in their faces (Children who were probably having ice cream and enjoying the afternoon before the terror struck and maybe saw their parent or family member die in front of them), maybe it is because this time the fallen individuals became so personal, knowing that one of them was a woman who was 7 months pregnant. It seems so personal, so needless, and so heart-breaking that all I can really ask is WHERE IS ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD???

Love that promotes peace instead of war

Love that promotes unity instead of division

Love that promotes lifting up instead of pulling down

Love that is adverse to hate

Love that promotes respect for life

Love is the one thing I know that can heal the world and stop these despicable happenings around the world. Maybe it is naïve to expect sure love to rule the  world but in my opinion, it is what the world needs and what it should preach because from where I am sitting, it is the only thing that can cut across boundaries, religions, cultures, race etc and save the world from such needless and gruesome realities.

I have chosen to write about this and send a prayer  for all victims everywhere, across boundaries, cultures, religions and race… before like most people, life moves me along to my own issues and challenges.

My heart goes out to everyone involved in the Kenya Westgate Mall attack, their family and friends and the survivors, I pray your physical, mental and emotional wounds be healed as quickly as possible

My heart also goes out to everyone around the world suffering from one senseless loss, attack or the other; the refugees from Syria, Victims of the Boko Haram attacks in Nigeria, ALUU 4, Nigeria,  Victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School, America and so many others. I pray for all survivors, family and friends of the unfortunate non-survivors, that y’all all find peace and beauty in life again.

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

I never would have thought it was going to be another raining day. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have left the house at all or just made a better plan.

I decided that I had to change my eating habit of about 80% carbs. This meant that I had to cook and for that to happen, I needed to go to the market for groceries. Maybe the fact that I wanted to cook should have been the first sign that this was going to be one of those days where the universe was going to take a piss at me (literally). Anyways, I get on my way to the market and almost immediately start complaining again about the scotching sun; at this point, in retrospect, I am sure this was where the universe made up its mind to have a laugh at me.

I am not much of a groceries shopping except it is a super-mart with aisles and directions. Unfortunately, this is the typical ‘Naija’ market; rowdy, crowded and stuffy. It takes plenty of time to find all the items I want; most of the time spent walking in circles. With just about two items to go, the sky starts darkening. I don’t even notice it; until someone asks what time it is and points out how dull the weather is for just 14:30. Oh my!! It is definitely getting set to rain and as expected I start hurrying along, stopping to pick my last items on my way out. Before I can make it out, the clouds gives way and starts pouring down. I tell myself, I am no salt and wouldn’t dissolve if I brave the rain. But almost immediately, as if the universe heard me, the rain angrily increases its pace; if you’ve ever been in Nigeria, you will understand what it means for it to rain heavily.

I decide it’s no use going under the rain, I can’t walk home; it’s way too far and no cabbie is going to pick a soaking wet girl in his cab, so I am left with no choice but to wait. At this point, I am really tired and getting so angry at people who kept splashing dirty water at me. Finally, it seems like the stars have finally aligned for me; after about 20 minutes, I get a cab that drops someone just next to where I am standing. Quickly I jump into the cab but before I can even suggest a hire, desperate people like me jump in too and on our way we go. But my joy is short-lived; the cabbie insists on playing really loud music and sings along, to make matters worse, it is in a language only he understands. He has just done me a huge favour so I can’t really complain. Again in retrospect,  it means this was the universe telling me it wasn’t done with me yet.

I soon realise that I have just stepped into gear two of my amazing day. The junction the cab stops at is still quite a distance to my final destination. I could walk on a normal day but this day is far from normal. Oh! I forgot to mention that I didn’t get an umbrella because I had middle sized groceries bag on both hands, plus a handbag as well. Second problem – How do I get from the junction the cab stops into the street where I live?

The cab finally drops me off and while I am glad to be saved from the resounding buzz in my ears as a result of the loud music, I am also now faced with the problem of walking down into my street. With little or no other option, I start walking under the rain. Just when I think I am resolved, I see a flowing pool of muddy water just at the entrance into the street. I look left and right and unfortunately,  there is no alternate route. I figure I am already wet and would get soaked to my pants before I get home, so why not? Plus I really don’t have any other option; so I put my feet into the very muddy, very dirty water and on my way I go. The water gets deeper at intervals, halfway to my knee; I am dripping water but have to keep stopping to give my hands a break. I make it closer and the rain subsides. Soon, I pass by a school and there is a lady waiting outside in the safety of a car; I assume she is there to pick up her kids. She yells to me ‘cover your chest’. Apparently, my top has dropped down some and is now showing part of my bra and some skin. But do I really care? I am soaking to my bones, my hands hurt, and my sandal is almost giving way from repeatedly walking in deep and dirty rain water; and for some reason this woman thinks I care about propriety??? Hell, No!!! I just give her a glare and move on my way. Thankfully, I am home in another few minutes; just then, the universe smiles and boom!!! The rain is over. 

No Kidding!!!!!!!!!

 
1 Comment

Posted by on June 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: ,

My Girl Crush…

The first paragraph of any article is usually the hardest for me. Even during my university days, writing academic essays and all, I have always struggled with that first paragraph. The moment I manage to get it done, everything else just falls in place; I can write another 100 pages with ease, but that first paragraph is a constant struggle; it is so ridiculous. Okay, some of you may know what I am trying to do here, which is get rid of the first paragraph by writing what I have just written (I do mean it nevertheless) even though it is totally out of point. Hopefully now that the first paragraph is done, I can actually write what I intended (**haha**)

I have lived for 25years and some; in my rather short life (I call it short because I intend to live for much more than that), I have had a surprisingly high number of crushes. For clarity sake, when I say crush, I mean a relationship that happened in my head only. I believe everyone (and I say everyone boldly) has had a crush(es) at some point of their life. There was Nosa when I was 11 or 12, not very sure, he was very cool and boy! Was I in love. There was that cute NYSC teacher (or at least I remember him as being cute) when I was in secondary school, he seemed so much cooler and older than all the other boys I had met. I spent all my pocket money buying whatever it is they sold (cant remember) in the staff room he was in, just so I could catch a glimpse of him (**laughs**, it sounds so ridiculous now), they were so many, can’t even remember most of them now. Oh! I remember Donald Duke (God! That man is fine, intelligent and he sings). If you sing, I am most probably at risk of having a crush on you (**laughs**). Anyways, I got older and my crushes sort of developed into something of respect for people and less of wanting to marry them and have their babies (Can you just imagine how many times I have been married in my head? Way more than Jlo and Stella Damasus **laughing** {no disrespect ladies, I love you both especially for your will not to give up on love}; I am pretty sure if it was reality, a new law would have long since been written on the maximum number of times one can get married **laughing really hard**).

So, back to my original thought, my crushes have developed with age and maturity. These days, I am more attracted to individuals with grace, exceptional courage, defined individuality, high intellect, achievers who are not afraid to go after what they want, artist who have found their artistic strengths and used it resoundingly; individuals like Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Chinua AchebeAlicia Keys (I love love her),  Asa, Steve Job, Beyonce (yes I said it), Pastor Iain Duthie, Victoria Beckham, Malala Yousafzai and so many more. For most of these individuals, the reason why I greatly respect and admire them is so obvious; their grace, exceptional courage in the face of adversity, inspires me; for others, their humility, tenacity and artistic success in such a complex society is amazing. However, at the moment, my girl crush is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

I love Chimamanda!!!!! Not just because she is a beautiful intelligent Nigerian woman but because she has mentally engaged me so many times. She is someone who has actually got me thinking. Growing up, I loved stories; initially, just having someone verbally narrate to me was okay, but eventually, people got tired of narrating to me, so I started reading. I read every romance book I could lay my hands on, every James Hadley Chase. However, literary Nigerian books (with an exception of some few ones) were always a big challenge for me to read; I had no interest. Chimamanda recently has challenged my interest in Nigerian books, she has challenged my reasoning on a lot of matters; how I define a culture or my stereotypical categorization of things/people,  my interest in history and a lot more. She simply inspires me. So yes, I have a huge girl crush on her at the moment. I know most people know of her but for those who do not, read about her, listen to her speeches on ‘Ted’, read any of her books and you most probably will admire her some. So to end this post, I have selected a few funny (at less to me), intelligent quotes from one of her books ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’ and her talk on ‘The danger of a Single Story’. I hope you laugh and most importantly, think about the message, like I have.

‘There’s something very lazy about the way you have loved him blindly for so long without ever criticizing him. You’ve never even accepted that the man is ugly,’ – Half of a Yellow Sun

‘It’s wrong of you to think that love leaves room for nothing else. It’s possible to love something and still condescend to it.’ – Half of a Yellow Sun

‘Power is the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person.’ – A Single Story

‘The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.’  – A Single Story

TED (conference)

TED (conference) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 
12 Comments

Posted by on May 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,