Tag Archives: Single Girl

Birthday Bash…

‘Oga! We had an agreement’, she stated gently, carefully removing his hand from her thighs.

‘Oooo! Why are you behaving like this na’, he countered, obviously, hoping to somehow convince his hand further up her thighs.

She was determined to go out!

It was her birthday and this time it was a happy birthday. The last two years had been a bit sad, a little indifferent but this year, Ruby had chosen to be happy.

With all the ‘happy birthday’ that came from close friends, there was also the demand that she went out to celebrate.

‘Ruby, you never do anything fun, you really should go out today’.

Why not? She asked herself, there was nothing like cuddling up in bed with a glass of wine and a television series at the end of the day but what better excuse to go out than a birthday celebration. However, the decision to go out wasn’t without its challenges. The first and major one being that she needed a wing person. Experience had taught her that as a woman, Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on October 20, 2016 in 30…ish and Single (Still), Uncategorized


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New Blog Alert

Hello everyone.

I have been writing a special category on this space for a while now, titled – 30ish and Single (Still). This category has now been moved to a new blog of its own with web address


Too often, when you get to a certain age, eyes are turned on you, wondering why you are still single. Consciously and unconsciously, the pressure is mounted to find someone (maybe even anyone) to tie the knots with and change your marital status which of course is just crazy.  Read the rest of this entry »


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30ish & Single(Still): Dating Younger Men

‘The best form of Karma when you stand in judgement over other people’s decisions is finding yourself making similar decisions down the line as life throws you, your own curve ball’.

About 5 years ago, I had just started a new job and had to do a mandatory training with 4 other people. Soon, we all got familiar and started discussing personal details about ourselves. Somehow, one of the ladies, who was about 31 at the time mentioned she lived with her boyfriend who was younger than her (Can’t remember how much younger). I must have had a face because the next thing I remember, I was giving my opinion on how I don’t judge women who date younger men but it wasn’t something I could do; absolutely not! (For someone who wasn’t judging, that statement in itself was laced with judgement. I like to believe I am less judgemental these days).

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, over the holidays, I sat down with a dear friend who I hadn’t seen in a bit and we got chatting; playing catch up. Now, you can say that we both fall under the category, 30ish & Single and as expected, our conversation eventually drifted to men and relationships. Read the rest of this entry »


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30ish and Single (Still) – Family Weddings

Ever attended a family wedding when you are of ‘marriageable age’ and still single? Trust me, not a fun experience (Am sure most people can relate, especially, Africans). It’s like being locked inside a hen cage (That’s the best analogy I can come up with, so manage it). The well-meaning aunties and uncles (in my case, add brother to the list), all in one place, making sly comments about coming together again to ‘eat your rice’ and celebrate with you’ (Don’t I wish the comments were about making financial contribution towards the imaginary wedding). Heaven forbids that you tell them, there isn’t even a significant man in your life. Read the rest of this entry »


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30ish and Single (Still) – Zodiac Explanations for your sign

Zodiac signs have always interested me. You must agree that the very idea that someone who has never met you can predict stuff about you, based on how the stars aligned when you were born, makes for a rather interesting read. It totally dismisses genetics and nurture, but embraces some other mystical factor I don’t fully comprehend. And, of course, because the human self is always looking for an external explanation for why we act the way we do or predictions on how our lives are going to turn out, we read all these Zodiac Predictions and explanations, and some people actually believe it. Really interesting stuff! Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on December 13, 2015 in 30…ish and Single (Still)


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I read a story recently about a lady, who a man had ran into her car accidentally but instead of sorting out the repairs with her, had insisted on speaking to her husband. Reason for this; her husband would understand the situation better (or something along that line). Other passers-by (men as well), who had also stopped at the scene expressed the same opinion and insisted that the lady call her husband. But, this lady had no husband! She was single and according to her, felt so embarrassed by the way these men kept insisting on her calling her husband that she was moved to tears. In her words, ‘I have never been more embarrassed in my life’.

I am going to start by saying there are a lot of things wrong with this story; from the fact that these men believed that the lady was too much of a ‘girl’ to understand the details of how the car was going to get fixed, to the assumption that her fictional husband was so much of a ‘man’ that he would understand the details of fixing the car. Personally, I would have thought that they should have insisted she called a professional i.e. her mechanic, but apparently, I am girl, so what do I know.

Now on to the main reason for this post, a couple of weeks after this story was narrated on a very popular blog, I read again that some famous Nigerian ladies had taken to social media to demand equality for both sexes; to this I say, great. People shouldn’t be underrated or overrated because of their gender. Now, their reason for the sudden outburst was as a result of the above incident; then I got confused and this is why… Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Uncategorized


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30…ish and Single (Still) – Birthday Saga: my outfit

It’s amazing the way time flies; it was just January a blink of an eye ago and now it is August (just experienced another birthday), soon 2013 would be gone. I remember clearly I was 21 a while back; just finished my undergrad and thought how well I was moving with time; these days (sometimes), I don’t feel so on point with time anymore (Just an isolated thought to get rid of the first paragraph **winks**)

I am one of those people who the concept of marriage and babies has always appealed to. The psychological reason may be tied to all those Mills and Boons novels I read growing up (**covers eyes**) or a cultural factor or even a gender one. Whatever the reason is, I have always enjoyed the thought that at some point in my life I would be married, make babies (Always and still want twins) and have my own family. Needless to say, I am still waiting to see this one happen. As I have grown older and seen more of life and its harsh realities, I have come to understand that marriage and kids shouldn’t be something you live for, but plan for. Anyways, I am going to try not to be too philosophical with this series (I know I do that a lot).

So like I said earlier, I recently celebrated another birthday (I am one of those very special August people **winks**) and like am sure everyone experiences, I had a bunch of calls and texts from loved ones and friends to wish me well. I got into a conversation with a very dear friend, who is married with two adorable kids I may add. The conversation went along the line of how I am not ready to get married. I couldn’t understand that, because I think I have always been ready but because she’s the second person to say that to me, the psychological me decided to understand better and not completely laugh it off like I would have been more inclined to do. So here comes the reason:

I had recently taken a picture with my niece on her first birthday (If you follow my series Interlude, yes, Booboo just turned one). It was one of those beautiful moments you are lucky to catch and a really beautiful picture (if I may say so myself). Anyways, in this picture I was wearing shorts (which my friend describes as bum-shorts). Personally, I thought (and still think) it was an ideal outfit for a child’s party, considering I needed to be hands on with refreshments and entertainment. But my friend told me that a girl who is single and WANTS TO GET MARRIED shouldn’t be wearing shorts in public; WHAT!!!!! (It was a friendly and meant well advice, so no hate, just humour). My argument was, I love shorts (owe like 5 or 6 pairs) so I don’t see why I have to pretend not to like them in other to make myself marriageable. In response to that I am told that in a cultural society like mine, it creates a rather wrong imagine of me as a girl and doesn’t exactly say ‘marriage approachable’. I was also told to save the shorts for after I have met someone; and to that I say ‘ummm’.

Anyways, the whole idea of sharing this is to evaluate how true this may be. I am of the opinion that one should embrace her/his personality (unless of course you are a serial killer) and I am not saying that one shouldn’t improve and try to be a better person. I am simply saying that I should be true to myself and identity and if I must change, I should change for myself, to make myself better. It should be a natural process not something influenced by my desire to be a man’s wife or on something as trivial as wearing shorts to a birthday party.



You shouldn’t have to pretend to be Louis Vuitton because you think he likes it, stay Gucci, for all you know, he loves Gucci and if he doesn’t, trust me, you will find someone who does.

There is a word called ‘compatibility’ and I think it is born out of the idea that not every two people can be together.


This is what I think, for now, on this, maybe my stand is wrong and that’s why I am single (still), who knows!!!


Posted by on August 17, 2013 in 30…ish and Single (Still)


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30…ish and Single (Still)

 The idea for this post was initiated by an article I read through Facebook. It was posted by a friend (Hello Diana, if you read this. Miss you much). Click here (Marianne Power) to check it out; it’s an interesting read (At less to me) and inspired me to start this series to explore my own experiences as a single girl.

Firstly, I am going to start by giving more insight to my chosen title. Even though I am not yet 30 (Sighs Heavily), I figured out, respecting the law of average (or is it approximation?), **30…ish** is closer to the truth than **20…ish** (though I most certainly would prefer the latter). Alright so I am almost 30 and single (Maybe I should say ‘still single’) as my society would most certainly regard it.

Over the last couple of years (say two to three years), the fact I am still single has become more and more of an issue, especially among my friends (I am sure they mean well). It has become increasingly a concern that I am close to the dreaded mark of 30 and still a single girl. I am not sure if it’s entirely a cultural thing, but I know for certain that being Nigerian, a deeply cultural environment, where girls my age should be married with at least a kid, doesn’t really help my ‘plight’. You get more ‘mothers’ (women of my mother’s generation) praying that ‘God sends you a husband soon’ (Again, with the best intention at heart). Your conversations with friends are centered on the presence or absence of a man in your life, with questions like,  ‘So have you met someone?’ or ‘Is there anyone interesting in your life just now?’. Never mind that you just spoke to them last week and they asked exactly the same question. Even though it is not out-rightly said, without a doubt, everyone is concerned about you (Emphasis again, with the best intention at heart).

Nevertheless, you are constantly reminded of the state of your marital status (As if you need any reminder) and before you know it, you begin to dwell on it yourself, worrying that there is something wrong somewhere. ‘Are you doing enough?’, ‘Are you socializing enough?’ Maybe it would be easier if you could just carry a sign that says ‘Single and Searching’ or ‘Want a wife? Look there’. Unfortunately (or maybe I should say fortunately) that would just make you seem crazy.

So yes, like I said, I have decided to start this series titled  ’30…ish and Single (Still)’. Its going to be about my own singlehood; my constantly changing attitude about it, my worries and, even humorous and not so humorous opinions and experiences in this regard. So please stay tuned…


Posted by on July 17, 2013 in 30…ish and Single (Still)


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