It’s amazing the way time flies; it was just January a blink of an eye ago and now it is August (just experienced another birthday), soon 2013 would be gone. I remember clearly I was 21 a while back; just finished my undergrad and thought how well I was moving with time; these days (sometimes), I don’t feel so on point with time anymore (Just an isolated thought to get rid of the first paragraph **winks**)
I am one of those people who the concept of marriage and babies has always appealed to. The psychological reason may be tied to all those Mills and Boons novels I read growing up (**covers eyes**) or a cultural factor or even a gender one. Whatever the reason is, I have always enjoyed the thought that at some point in my life I would be married, make babies (Always and still want twins) and have my own family. Needless to say, I am still waiting to see this one happen. As I have grown older and seen more of life and its harsh realities, I have come to understand that marriage and kids shouldn’t be something you live for, but plan for. Anyways, I am going to try not to be too philosophical with this series (I know I do that a lot).
So like I said earlier, I recently celebrated another birthday (I am one of those very special August people **winks**) and like am sure everyone experiences, I had a bunch of calls and texts from loved ones and friends to wish me well. I got into a conversation with a very dear friend, who is married with two adorable kids I may add. The conversation went along the line of how I am not ready to get married. I couldn’t understand that, because I think I have always been ready but because she’s the second person to say that to me, the psychological me decided to understand better and not completely laugh it off like I would have been more inclined to do. So here comes the reason:
I had recently taken a picture with my niece on her first birthday (If you follow my series Interlude, yes, Booboo just turned one). It was one of those beautiful moments you are lucky to catch and a really beautiful picture (if I may say so myself). Anyways, in this picture I was wearing shorts (which my friend describes as bum-shorts). Personally, I thought (and still think) it was an ideal outfit for a child’s party, considering I needed to be hands on with refreshments and entertainment. But my friend told me that a girl who is single and WANTS TO GET MARRIED shouldn’t be wearing shorts in public; WHAT!!!!! (It was a friendly and meant well advice, so no hate, just humour). My argument was, I love shorts (owe like 5 or 6 pairs) so I don’t see why I have to pretend not to like them in other to make myself marriageable. In response to that I am told that in a cultural society like mine, it creates a rather wrong imagine of me as a girl and doesn’t exactly say ‘marriage approachable’. I was also told to save the shorts for after I have met someone; and to that I say ‘ummm’.
Anyways, the whole idea of sharing this is to evaluate how true this may be. I am of the opinion that one should embrace her/his personality (unless of course you are a serial killer) and I am not saying that one shouldn’t improve and try to be a better person. I am simply saying that I should be true to myself and identity and if I must change, I should change for myself, to make myself better. It should be a natural process not something influenced by my desire to be a man’s wife or on something as trivial as wearing shorts to a birthday party.
You shouldn’t have to pretend to be Louis Vuitton because you think he likes it, stay Gucci, for all you know, he loves Gucci and if he doesn’t, trust me, you will find someone who does.
There is a word called ‘compatibility’ and I think it is born out of the idea that not every two people can be together.
This is what I think, for now, on this, maybe my stand is wrong and that’s why I am single (still), who knows!!!