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Tag Archives: Single

New Blog Alert

Hello everyone.

I have been writing a special category on this space for a while now, titled – 30ish and Single (Still). This category has now been moved to a new blog of its own with web address http://www.30ishandsinglestill.com

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Too often, when you get to a certain age, eyes are turned on you, wondering why you are still single. Consciously and unconsciously, the pressure is mounted to find someone (maybe even anyone) to tie the knots with and change your marital status which of course is just crazy.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

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30ish and Single (Still) – Family Weddings

Ever attended a family wedding when you are of ‘marriageable age’ and still single? Trust me, not a fun experience (Am sure most people can relate, especially, Africans). It’s like being locked inside a hen cage (That’s the best analogy I can come up with, so manage it). The well-meaning aunties and uncles (in my case, add brother to the list), all in one place, making sly comments about coming together again to ‘eat your rice’ and celebrate with you’ (Don’t I wish the comments were about making financial contribution towards the imaginary wedding). Heaven forbids that you tell them, there isn’t even a significant man in your life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

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Another reason why you are 30ish and Single Still…

It is interesting how much information you can find on the internet about being 30ish and single, more about the woman than the man (**Pouting**, the world is so sexist) Oh well, I guess men don’t have to worry about their biological clock and their ovaries drying up (So does that mean that God is sexist?).

Anyway, I recently read an article online that provided another opinion as to why some woman over 30 are still single and since I fall under this category, of course my interest was piqued.

According to the article, at 30ish, you are more likely to have grown into yourself, which means, you have become more self-assured and have stronger opinions. You know who you are, what you want and certainly, what you don’t want or like. You are also less susceptible to bull***t, maybe even ‘too picky’. Basically, you have become wiser and wait for it… This could be a reason why you are still single! Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2015 in 30…ish and Single (Still)

 

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STOP BEGGING AND FIGHT…

I read a story recently about a lady, who a man had ran into her car accidentally but instead of sorting out the repairs with her, had insisted on speaking to her husband. Reason for this; her husband would understand the situation better (or something along that line). Other passers-by (men as well), who had also stopped at the scene expressed the same opinion and insisted that the lady call her husband. But, this lady had no husband! She was single and according to her, felt so embarrassed by the way these men kept insisting on her calling her husband that she was moved to tears. In her words, ‘I have never been more embarrassed in my life’.

I am going to start by saying there are a lot of things wrong with this story; from the fact that these men believed that the lady was too much of a ‘girl’ to understand the details of how the car was going to get fixed, to the assumption that her fictional husband was so much of a ‘man’ that he would understand the details of fixing the car. Personally, I would have thought that they should have insisted she called a professional i.e. her mechanic, but apparently, I am girl, so what do I know.

Now on to the main reason for this post, a couple of weeks after this story was narrated on a very popular blog, I read again that some famous Nigerian ladies had taken to social media to demand equality for both sexes; to this I say, great. People shouldn’t be underrated or overrated because of their gender. Now, their reason for the sudden outburst was as a result of the above incident; then I got confused and this is why… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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30…ish and Single (Still)

 The idea for this post was initiated by an article I read through Facebook. It was posted by a friend (Hello Diana, if you read this. Miss you much). Click here (Marianne Power) to check it out; it’s an interesting read (At less to me) and inspired me to start this series to explore my own experiences as a single girl.

Firstly, I am going to start by giving more insight to my chosen title. Even though I am not yet 30 (Sighs Heavily), I figured out, respecting the law of average (or is it approximation?), **30…ish** is closer to the truth than **20…ish** (though I most certainly would prefer the latter). Alright so I am almost 30 and single (Maybe I should say ‘still single’) as my society would most certainly regard it.

Over the last couple of years (say two to three years), the fact I am still single has become more and more of an issue, especially among my friends (I am sure they mean well). It has become increasingly a concern that I am close to the dreaded mark of 30 and still a single girl. I am not sure if it’s entirely a cultural thing, but I know for certain that being Nigerian, a deeply cultural environment, where girls my age should be married with at least a kid, doesn’t really help my ‘plight’. You get more ‘mothers’ (women of my mother’s generation) praying that ‘God sends you a husband soon’ (Again, with the best intention at heart). Your conversations with friends are centered on the presence or absence of a man in your life, with questions like,  ‘So have you met someone?’ or ‘Is there anyone interesting in your life just now?’. Never mind that you just spoke to them last week and they asked exactly the same question. Even though it is not out-rightly said, without a doubt, everyone is concerned about you (Emphasis again, with the best intention at heart).

Nevertheless, you are constantly reminded of the state of your marital status (As if you need any reminder) and before you know it, you begin to dwell on it yourself, worrying that there is something wrong somewhere. ‘Are you doing enough?’, ‘Are you socializing enough?’ Maybe it would be easier if you could just carry a sign that says ‘Single and Searching’ or ‘Want a wife? Look there’. Unfortunately (or maybe I should say fortunately) that would just make you seem crazy.

So yes, like I said, I have decided to start this series titled  ’30…ish and Single (Still)’. Its going to be about my own singlehood; my constantly changing attitude about it, my worries and, even humorous and not so humorous opinions and experiences in this regard. So please stay tuned…

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2013 in 30…ish and Single (Still)

 

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